Has it come to this? After several years of hastily photocopying randomly typed half thoughts and so called reviews, stacking them in to some semblance of order, tacking a staple somewhere in the vicinity of the middle and then joyfully foisting them on random members of the public in an attempt to vaguely raise the profile of the ne’erdowells that call Forum Towers home, Blam has, sniff, sob, gone all hi tech and will now be published online as some sort of rolling bog or something. We weren’t really listening when it was explained to us to be honest.
Anyway, for better or worse, we have finally decided to take the plunge and move Blam to being an online purveyor of swearing and bad spelling as opposed to the print version. “Why?” I hear our literally legions of fans (Sid and Doris Legion, Sherwood) cry, twisting their knuckles white with despair at the thought of nothing to wipe their arses on next month. Well, we could pretend that we are very worried about the environment, the rainforest depletion, litter, the nearing eruption of Krakatoa or a myriad of other world troubling events, but the truth is that it’s a jolly long way up to Prontaprint on a cold Wednesday, we’re bored of the deadline pressure, and frankly most of you get too drunk to remember you’ve read it in the morning. Our feelings are hurt, and you aren’t returning our phone calls.
So, the all new super improved Blam Online. What’s in it:
Upcoming band previews; they’re all under the category “What’s Coming Up”.
Archives of what’s been on; they’re all in the category “What You Missed”.
Reviews; they’re all in the category “What Did You Think of That Then”. You can send us some if you like and they will go in the mag. Or you can just complain about the review you just read by leaving a comment comparing the author in an unfavourable way with a lamppost or a donkey.
Lies; there’s always been lots of lies in Blam, and we see no need to change a winning formula just cos some clever dick has a wi fi connection. An article containing lies won’t be specially tagged, as nearly all of them do. So there.
True Facts; every so often Blam has something in it which is actually worth reading as opposed to leafing through trying to spot the aforementioned lies. To aid you, the gentle reader, to guess which is which, we will helpfully be signposting articles such as that and will group them under the category “Actual True Facts”.
There are actually some real advantages to going to an online format, like being able to provide you with video and audio of upcoming acts, you being able to comment directly back to articles, links into our Facebook and MySpace groups ……and no more staples pricking our sore little thumbs, so that’s 53p saved on band aids.
So, that’s sort of the idea. Subscribe to this blog, bookmark it, or phone a friend, go 50/50 or do whatever else it is that might lead you to pop by occasionally and catch up on the latest goings on at the jolly old Tunbridge Wells Forum. We promise not to bite.